Survive the Holidays with a Smile!

     The New Year offers a blank slate, a fresh start, a hopeful time.  Actually each morning offers the same thing (!) but, as a culture, we celebrate together as one year comes to a close and the next begins. Some people are secretly celebrating that the holidays are over!!  The Christmas holiday has become quite secular and, with that, the media etc loses the true meaning of the day.  If you are Christian, then focusing on the wonder and miracle of the birth of Christ can bring joy and peace.  However if that is not possible,  with all you have to do, then your holiday can be stressed and there will be no joy in your world.  There are some tips I have accumulated to make the season merrier.   Also if you are abstinent for the first time this year, or the holidays are always a difficult time to remain abstinent, these tips may make the holiday season brighter!

1. Understand that you are not alone.  A lot of people are feeling stressed, depressed and distressed at this time of year.  You can look around you and see happy people shopping, people smiling, Christmas lights everywhere, and the media telling us how happy we should be.  Then you check in with you and you are feeling awful because "everyone is partying but me" or "my family doesnt......." or "I dont have the money to...." or whatever lousy feeling you are having.  Well, you are comparing their outsides (smiling faces, imagined happiness and  parties) with your insides (feelings).  The reality is that you are comparing apples and oranges.  Your insides to their outsides.  You do not know how other people are feeling or if they are happy just by looking at them. 
2. It's just another Sunday.  Christmas falls on Sunday and if you are feeling overwhelmed, a better way to look at it might be: "It's just another Sunday".  That takes the crushing importance and grand expectations out of the day. 
3. Take care of yourself.  When we start rushing around with little time to spare, the first thing that goes is what we do for ourselves.  Grabbing a quick bite, having a cookie at the office, cinnabuns at the mall do not count as nutrition.  Stay on your eating plan.  If you indulge, get back to eating well with the next meal.  Stay on your exercise plan. This is not the time for the added stress of beginning a diet or exercise routine but stay on the one you have. 
4. Go late and leave early.  No one says you must arrive early and be the last one to wave goodbye at the party/dinner/whatever.  If you are anticipating a visit with relatives or coworkers that will be challenging, go late and leave early.  Have an exit strategy if you find you need to leave early.   Most good friends and family will understand if you are uncomfortable.  If they are not the understanding types, then have a small lie handy to make your exit socially acceptable.  "My tooth is acting up and I really hate to leave but......"
5. Bring the phone number of someone you can contact if you need to talk to someone or just need to get grounded again.  Make sure they will be available during the time you might need them.  Better yet, bring a supportive friend with you to the event or shopping.   Having a friendly face with you is a great support. 
6. Ditch the family and do some volunteer work.  See if there is a soup kitchen, 24 hour marathon anonymous meeting, nursing home or hospital that could use some cheer.  Put on your happy face and go! 
7. "Act as if ".   If you act as if you are in the holiday spirit and in a giving mood, it just might stick.  It's worth a try.  
8.  Make a gratitude list.  List every thing you can think of that you can be thankful for.  If you have difficulty getting started, try these:  1) I am so grateful for  beauty,  2) I am so grateful for sunny days  4) I am so grateful for chocolate.  You get the idea. Make the list personal to you.  
9. Add things to your gratitude list that haven't happened yet but you desire. So if this year you want to change jobs, or get a job, you might add  "I am so grateful for my dream job".  If you want to find your soulmate, you might add "I am so grateful for my soulmate".   
10. Every thought is a prayer or a wish that you send to the universe.  If you are thinking "I cant have a great holiday because.....(fill in the blank) or "I cant make it through the holidays without a drink/pill/crutch of some other kind", then it is so.   As Henry Ford said " “Whether you think that you can, or that you can't, you are usually right.” If you can catch yourself with these negative thoughts,  change them immediately!  Try  " This holiday will be fun" or "I wonder what the holidays look like through sober eyes".   Even if you don't believe it, just say it.  Trust me on this one. 

You may just surprise yourself and have a better holiday than you thought you could.