If you are an alcoholic/addict, you are the last to know. Yes, your family knows. Yes, the people you live with know. Yes, your girlfriend/boyfriend knows (and their friends know too). Yes the people with whom you partied last week or weekend (and you have no idea who they are, really) know. Yes your boss (if you still have one) knows. Yes your last boss knows too. Just don't ask the friendsor relatives that drink/drug like you. If they tell you that you are an addict/alcoholic, then they will have to look at their own use. Way too scary.
One of the most "cunning, baffling and powerful" aspects of alcoholism/addiction is that it changes your thinking. The user is not even aware that this has occurred. When the mind has a belief, it will then look around for evidence of that belief. The mind of a user believes that they want to keep drinking./using at all costs. The drink/drug FEELS GREAT. So the thought is "This has to be ok". Now they look around themselves for justification. " That friend over there is using way more than me so I must be ok." "I still have my job so I must be ok." "I need this drink/drug to make it through the day." "No one knows how unique my situation is." " If you had my fill in the blank (upbringing, my wife/husband, my job, my illness, my life) you would use too."
In spite of their life crashing in around them, the alcoholic/addict will find a way to think that using is helping or that they deserve it. "I had a hard day/week/life" so I deserve it. Doesn't everyone deserve to relax, kick back, after a hard day? And the addiction seduces the user with an anticipation of the relaxation to come. The mind then plays a video of using right up to point of getting high and feeling relief. ahhhh. But here is where the trickery kicks in again. The mind does NOT follow through to the throwing up, peeing oneself, humiliation of deeds not chosen but done anyway, DWI's, faces on loved ones, breakups, jobs lost because they missed another days work or were late again, urine tests that have to be faced, middle of the night emails and phone calls that can't be retrieved and on and on. When the mind is romancing getting high again, it stops at the high, at the ecstacy, at the feeling GREAT. That's the only way a sane and rational person can continue to use. The addiction, with a mind of its own, cuts off thinking after the good part.
Think of someone you know who is truly NOT an alcoholic/addict. Someone NO ONE would say has a problem with drugs or alcohol. Got them in your mind? Ok, would they be reading this and wondering if it pertained to them? In a million years? If you are wondering, chances are drugs and alcohol is causing a problem for you.
Think of that same person again. Can you see them in your head? Ok would drugs and alcohol ever cause a problem in their life? ever? If they were asked to not drink alcohol or use drugs for any reason, would there be an issue? If a doctor, for instance, said "I'm putting you on this medication, do not drink alcohol when you take it". Would they even think twice about it? If their probation officer said, "You cannot drink or use drugs for the next two years", would they panic? Would you panic?
Now think of a food you really like. REALLY like. Potato chips? Ice Cream? Steak? Lobster? Think of yours. For the sake of this illustration, let's use mine: ice cream. Imagine that the doctor tells you that you had to take a medication for your health. You really have to take this medication or you will die. Then the doctor tells you that you can't eat the one food you really like because it will interfere with the medication. The lifesaving medication won't work if you eat your favorite food. What would you feel? Grateful there is medication to save you? Glad that you are alive? Then the second thought is probably "I'll miss that ice cream". Eating the ice cream while taking that medication would not be an option. You wouldn't even consider it. You would make sure everyone who had you over for a meal would know "I'm not eating ice cream".
What if the doctor tells you that you can't drink alcohol or take your drug or the medication won't work. What do you feel? The addict/alcoholic's mind is working around this dilemma. Not using is not an option. Ok, I'll try not to drink/drug. Generally whatever you set out to try, you already know you can't do.
How much does one need to consume to be considered addicted? I hear that a lot. " But I only drink/use on weekends." "I know plenty of people who drink/use more than me." "I still have a job so how can I be and alcoholic/addict?" The amount you need to consume is-----drum roll here-----exactly how much interferes with your life. For some, they are able to see that the weekend binges are interfering with their relationships, self-esteem, ability to get to work on time on Monday or whatever. For others divorce is necessary for them to see that the use is interfering, some need hospitalization and/or jail.
If your life isn't working and you think it might be the drinking/ or drugs, it probably is.
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