Well the good news is that, if you ever questioned whether you are a good parent, you probably are. Bad parents don't wonder if they are doing the right thing. Parenting is a personal issue to each parent and child. Parents that truly and deeply love their children can make mistakes but usually not serious ones. When I was pregnant with my first child, my friend told me "Now you will know what it's like to have your heart on the OUTside of your body for the rest of your life". She was right.
There are a couple of general thoughts on parenting that I share with my clients and I will share with you.
Your same sex child (Father/son, Mother/daughter): Your child will do what you do, not what you say. Take a moment and imagine the person you would like your son or daughter to become, then work to become that person yourself. They will learn to do what you do. If you would like your son to cherish his wife, be a good parent, and an honest businessman, then work to be that man. If you would like your daughter to have a career, be a doting mother, and be involved in her community, then become that woman yourself. It doesn't have to be so specific. You can just work toward becoming completely honest, strong willed, or civic minded. You have a better chance that your child will develop that way instead of lecturing. Look back at what traits or attitudes you took from your parents.
Opposite sex child (Father/daughter, Mother/son): In general a child will grow up to pick a mate who treats them the way you treat your opposite sex child. I am talking about heterosexual children for now. If you want your daughter to pick a man that dotes on her and has her best interest at heart, then Dad should treat her that way now. If you want your son to choose a woman for his wife that is loving and respects him, then his Mom can be the template for that woman.
These are not hard and fast rules and there are many variations on the theme.
Feel free to share any words of wisdom you have about parenting!
