I've been reading a lot about New Year's Resolutions and why they are not kept. I'm reading that people make their resolutions too big, unattainable, or unreasonable. Actually I think year end resolutions are wish lists, not actual change lists. People make resolutions, or resolve to change something, but do not consider the cost of the change or underestimate the time it may take to actually accomplish the goal. For instance, people wish they could weigh less, but when it comes to actually putting in the time and effort, well, not so much. Some people resolve to have more patience this year, -- starting right now! Some people want to make more money this year. Unfortunately they don't consider that to make themselves more marketable may entail more time and sacrifice than they are willing to give.
After New Year's, people take their wishes and get out their internal scale. They put the price of making the change on one side of the scale, and the price for making no change on the other side of the scale. Guess which side usually wins? Right. The price for making the change is more. It's easier to do nothing. Even if it is miserable to do nothing, at least the misery is familiar. When people look at the prize (more money, weight loss, quit an addiction) they tend to not see the day to day work, and perserverance, involved in permanent change.
Sometimes its not the amount of work involved in personal change, but the loss of the reward of the bad behavior. Huh? Let me explain. If someone wants to quit smoking but the wonderful relaxing feelings of smoking (reward) has to be sacrificed, even temporarily, then the price may be too high. If someone wants to lose 40 lbs, but then they will have nowhere to hide (reward), no excuse for not joining in (reward), no excuse to bow out of the next trip to the beach (reward), then the price may be too high.
How do people change at all if the price is too high? Many do not, which is why all these resolutions (good intentions) fail. Resolutions need to be paired with action. Action that not only makes the desired change but also keeps the "resolve" and continued motivation for the change high.
The action that will keep the resolve high is to join a support group run by a qualified therapist, see a therapist individually or with your spouse, partner with like minded individuals in your life or though internet groups like meetup or facebook.
If you are serious about change, and are ready to give up the rewards of not changing, resolve to do what is necessary to make your change and to keep your motivation high!
